Penis size - does it matter?
Penis size. Does it really make any
difference to sex? Sue, sitting on my sofa, was clear: "Sure it
matters! I've had some massive ones in my time, and I really enjoyed
them!" My flatmates and I looked at each other, subdued. "It's true,"
said Helen, looking at the floor, "the bigger the penis, the better
The look on Sophie's face suggested she
was dreaming of a time when she, too, had been impaled on the end of a
massive penis. And it wasn't a look that suggested she was regretting
these sexually experienced women say that sex felt better with a
bigger penis was a shock to me. Surely penis size doesn't matter?
Don't women love the man, not the
penis? After all, that's the message we hear from our early teens:
it's not what you've got, it's what you do with it that counts.
But is this just small-dicked
men telling women what to think about penis size? Or is it women
being kind and reassuring to men with small and average sized
penises? Suppose it isn't what women really think about penis size
(All pictures taken from
Images of Size - a photographic guide to penis size. Click here
for more information.)
was once in bed with a girlfriend when for some reason we started
talking about penis size. Now, she knows a thing or two about penis
size, having had more sexual adventures than most women (about twenty
male partners in long or short relationships).
Her first boyfriend, when she was a teenager, was quite well
endowed, and she just assumed that all penises were about the same
size as his. She went on to marry her second boyfriend, who turned out
(on the wedding night) to have a four-inch long erect penis, a fact
that she discovered when she reached down in the dark to play with his
cock only to discover she couldn't find it!
Naturally I wanted to
know whether sex with him was good. And she was a bit evasive -
she said his penis was thick, so the width made up for the
shortness. That seemed a bit like asking a woman if size counts
and getting a weak smile and a kind of mumbled "mmm, well..."
followed by a swift change of subject.
The next interesting part of her story was about the time she had
sex with a man whose penis was nine inches long. The problem, she
said, was that the condom only went halfway down his penis. In my
naivety, I said, "Wasn't it a bit big for you?"' She hesitated for a
moment. Then, a bit self-consciously, she said: "No, I rather enjoyed
if the evidence is to be believed, listening to what heterosexual
women are saying means we have to acknowledge penis size does actually
matter - to some of them at least.
When I asked lots more women about
penis size, I found a huge variety of answers to my questions: some
women didn't like big dicks at all, some thought average size ones
were fine, some liked huge ones, and some didn't care at all about
But whatever the women said about penis
size, they all spoke in terms of pleasure. And if you think about it,
this is very different to the way men talk about penis size: men talk
about penis size as though it represents status and power.
Men: Do You Have
Trouble Reaching Orgasm
Too Soon During Sex?
Men who reach orgasm during sexual
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But the reality is that there are many
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where does this take us? The question is, what do women want,
sexually? And the answer, of course, is that it depends on the
Some prefer men who are tall and have
dark hair, while some women like blondes. Some women prefer men
with a great physique. Some like dominant men.
Some want a passive partner. The whole
range of male physical and emotional features appeal in different
ways to different women - and penis size is just one of those
Therefore some women like long cocks,
some like small cocks, some like thick cocks, and some like small
cocks. It is all a question of what each individual woman finds
pleasurable and exciting.
And above all else, this is probably more about the man
than his penis. But to make the point: when women say that penis
size is important, they are not condemning men with small cocks to
a life of wanking alone.
What they are saying is that their
partner's penis size - large or small - is one of a number of
factors that influence how much sexual pleasure they enjoy in that
relationship. And it is true that to some women penis size is
But most men do not see penis size in
terms of the pleasure it will give a woman. In fact it seems to me
that men's obsession with penis size is all about male vanity: firstly
in the belief that if one has a big penis one will be a better lover,
or somehow attract more women, or be more confident as a man.
And secondly a man might desire a huge
penis because he believes his lover will have a great time, say what a
wonderful lover he is, and thereby make him feel more masculine. And
thirdly so that women just take one look and say, "Fuck me, look at
the cock on him!"
think for men a big size penis is a bit like a sports car - something
you own that makes you feel more of a man. There is no doubt that the
majority of men think "bigger equals better."
No wonder then that so many men whose
prized possession resembles a bean or an acorn rather than a marrow or
a cucumber want to convince themselves that size doesn't matter, and
hate hearing women saying that, well, actually, in some ways it does
But the reason it matters to men is because
they think women are saying real men have big cocks. And this is not
what women are saying at all. I doubt you would find many women who
are measuring a man's masculinity by his penis size.
When a woman says
"a big penis feels nicer", the man hears her say "a big penis means you're more of a man or a better lover." In fact she's saying that a
big penis feels nicer!
man's biggest fear is not that a woman won't enjoy sex because his
penis is too small - it's that she will take one look, laugh her head
off and humiliate him. It's the fear of being exposed as a small
dicked-man that terrifies men.
(Remember the false assumption "a small
penis equals an unmasculine man").
And the problem is that while men
think like this, whether they are swinging it around like a
baseball bat, or complaining about how small it is, they are not
focusing on giving their partner what she wants.
When men accept that
penis size can influence a woman's pleasure and enjoyment of sex,
things will be much better for everyone.
Men can see the
situation honestly and know that deficiencies in the size department
can be compensated for in other ways - new techniques, being a better
lover, learning more about what turns their partner on. And this all
means they will come to understand more clearly what their woman
Remember the joke: a bastard is a man who fucks you
with a three inch cocks and then kisses you goodbye with a six inch
tongue. It may be a woman's joke, but what it says is clear: men, stop
being so penis-obsessed and realize you can do other things that send
women into raptures.
Email from a reader:
It is certainly odd that even now, in
the days when there is so much information about sex, sexuality, and
hundreds of websites detailing penis size in images and huge amounts
of text that men should be insecure about the size of their organ --
especially when they are actually normal!
The only reason why men are so insecure
about penis size is that they have a belief that "the bigger the
penis, the better the lover" ...
I think we're all subject to this false
belief, that at some level we all believe that a woman wants to be
"filled" completely. As you rightly observe on your website this is
more about a man's desire to possess a woman's vagina (and perhaps the
woman herself), than it is about a woman's desire to be filled by an
So exactly how do you deal with a man
who believes that his penis is too small -- whatever that means to him
-- even in the face of all the evidence to the contrary?
We all know that there is very little
that can actually be done to increase the size of the penis, so why
can't we just devote our efforts to accepting the size of our organs
rather than trying to think of ways we might improve them?
I don't have any answers to this
question but I spent years thinking that my penis was too small and
worrying about its effect on my relationship -- and the ironic thing
was that it was only the anxiety I felt about this issue that caused
my relationship to suffer!
If I had actually bothered to ask my
partner what she felt about it, and take the trouble to believe what
she was telling me, I'd soon have realized that actually the size of
my cock didn't matter to her one jot.
Penis Size Matters
So yes, we know that the average man's
penis is actually the most important part of his body and perhaps even
the most important thing that he will ever possess. As soon as a boy
becomes aware of his penis he becomes fascinated by it -- and that
fascination never leaves him.
Of course he wants to look at other
men's penises: dad's penis, brother's penis, the penis on the men in
the changing room.
It's not surprising that when his penis
is so small, and he looks around at the full size of the men in the
changing room, he becomes a little insecure!
(Those who show it off most are usually
the biggest!). Indeed, he develops some kind of innate inferiority
complex about the size of his organ - and it's probably this that
causes men to feel insecure later in life. In this scenario, it's
actually about a man's overall self-confidence in relationship to
In other words, it's about male
competition -- we all know men are essentially competitive with each
Where men make a terrible mistake is in
projecting this insecurity onto the women that they are with. If a man
assumes that a woman isn't interested in him because his penis is too
small, he's making a terrible mistake in projecting his own feelings
about his penis onto the partner who could do more than anybody else
to reassure him that he is, actually, fine in every way.
It's actually no surprise that the
average woman has no understanding whatever of men's obsession with
penis size. Unfortunately this may lead her to make a joke of the
subject if she doesn't know how else to deal with it. So, please,
please, women - whatever you do, never, ever make a joke about penis
Even as a joke, you can cause a man such anxiety about measuring
up to the right standard that he may develop one of a number of sexual dysfunctions,
including erection problems and
premature ejaculation. Unfortunately, the male sexual psyche is
Is Premature Ejaculation A
Do you yearn to be a powerful lover
who can enjoy sex for as long as you want? Would you like to be
have the power to choose just when you ejaculate during sex? Yes?
Most men would!
Although I think that it is preferable to have a
larger penis, my own feelings are that is it probably much more
important to be able to maintain an erection and last longer in
And, if you think of yourself as a
man who experiences too much embarrassment because of shyness when
dating women, this quality blog lets you in on the top secret
techniques that can help you date women confidently. It's the Tao
Of Badass, and you can get the Tao of
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Exciting news! A new sexual information program
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Anything to say? info"at"the-penis-website.com
[ Size & Shape Of The Erect Penis ] [ Circumcision & the Foreskin ] [ Women Talk About Penis Size ] [ Penis Enlarging ] [ Why Penis Size Matters To Men ] [ Penis Size Discussed ] [ Penis Size and Sexual Intercourse ] [ More Talk About Penis Size ] [ Penis problems ] [ Penis Size Q and A ] [ Causes & Cures: Premature Ejaculation ] [ Comments on premature ejaculation ] [ Living With A Large Penis ] [ Male Multiple Orgasm ] [ Penile anatomy ]
Other pages on this site
Size & Shape Of The Erect Penis
Circumcision & the Foreskin
Women Talk About Penis Size
Why Penis Size Matters To Men
Penis Size Discussed
Penis Size and Sexual Intercourse
More Talk About Penis Size
Penis Size Q and A
Causes & Cures: Premature Ejaculation
Comments on premature ejaculation
Living With A Large Penis
Male Multiple Orgasm
Your comments, photos and
contributions are very welcome: Email info"at"the-penis-website.com
(replace "at" with @)
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Penis size in pictures
collection of pictures ranging from the smallest to the most
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