Sex Rhythm & Movements
Intense and pleasurable sensations tend to bring automatic or reflex movements of the hips in both man and woman. It is highly important that this reflexive hip movement be controlled as far as possible. Coital alignment is good for that.
Too violent movements may separate the organs, or, what is more serious, may serve to bring on the manís orgasm and loss of erection before the woman has had time to develop hers.
At the beginning, and until the couple are more skilled in the process, it is best for the man to rest a few moments after inserting his penis the full length in the vagina.
In most cases the latter organ is surprisingly flexible, especially when the woman is thoroughly excited, and there need be small concern that the penis will be too long.
The considerate lover will, however, make his entrance carefully, to avoid causing his bride any discomfort which may take the edge off her sexual excitement.
She will learn in time how to increase the vigor and intensity of her movements so as to produce her own climax at the same time or quickly after his.
For the man the orgasm is that stage in the process of sexual excitement where the delight in the act reaches its greatest intensity, and the internal glands release the supply of seminal fluids and propel them out through the urethra by a series of rhythmic contractions.
Under ordinary circumstances his orgasm may be produced
five minutes or less, but he will find it more satisfying to prolong the
fore-play leading to it for a considerable period of time.
Since the ability to maintain erection after entrance averages only from 3 to 5 minutes, it is important for the woman to have been thoroughly aroused before the penis is inserted.
Following the orgasm the penis quickly relaxes, becomes soft and loses most of its sexual sensitiveness.
For the woman the orgasm produces no ejaculation of fluid, but is the climax of a series of thrilling and ecstatic sensations in the vagina, and the clitoris, and is accompanied by a series of quick, gasping breaths.
This series of spasmodic throbs lasts about ten seconds or less, and then dies away, leaving her relaxed and spent. In some women more than one orgasm is and even necessary, to discharge her battery of desire.
Should this prove to be the regular pattern of the womanís sexual performance then the man will need to use one of three possible means to satisfy her.
(i) He may, if he is able, postpone his own orgasm until she is ready for her second or third and then finish his own simultaneously with her.
(2) If she has been thoroughly aroused the man may continue clitoris stimulation until she has her orgasm and is completely satisfied.
(3) He may rest a while acid then proceed in the usual manner if time and his own sexual capacity permit.
Just as a couple finds peculiar delight in the foreplay which leads to orgasm, so they may also find pleasure and benefit in the after-play which follows it.
Instead of drawing apart they should continue the embrace without separating the organs, shifting only so as to lie with both heads in a comfortable position. If they can drift off to sleep in this position so much the better.
The sense of unity and mutual love which envelops them as the pleasures of the orgasm slowly fade may be as beautiful and as memorable as a lovely sunset.
To drift peacefully into slumber, held closely in the arms of oneís beloved is one of the crowning joys of married fellowship.
Gauging Emotional Progress
After the entrance has been made, and the man has rested until he is sure of his control, an occasional forward and backward movement of the penis in the vagina will help to intensify the stimulation for both.
Just how long or how rapid these movements should be, and whether it is best for only one member of the couple to make them is a matter to be learned by experience. If movements by the man tend to bring on his orgasm too soon he must learn to wait and let his woman play the active part.
In the man-above position he can lift himself slightly to his knees and elbows so that she is free to make up-and-down, circular, or sidewise movements in whatever manner best suits her need.
In the woman-above position she has even opportunity to make the most satisfactory movements.
Care should always be taken not to separate the organs completely, but to make the movements in such fashion that stimulation is provided in two distinct places with each movement:
(1) inside, where the enlarged glans of the penis rubs and presses against the mouth of the uterus and along the vagina, and
(2) outside, where the area about the base of the penis makes and breaks its contact with the clitoris and with the lips of the vulva.
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control this muscle, squeezing the vagina firmly around the penis, greatly
increases the stimulation in both sets of organs. It is usually much less
violent than the hip movement and can be as gentle or as vigorous as she wishes
to produce the proper effect on her man and herself.
A word or signal to her man that she is ready will be his cue to unite with her in the last movement to the climax.
If the man feels his orgasm coming on before she has given the signal, he can let her know and control ejaculation.
The frequency with which man and woman may properly engage in sexual relations is a subject of considerable anxiety on the part of many couples.
Some who are well adjusted and get a great sense of satisfaction from them, may at times wonder whether they are not too self indulgent and tend to develop a guilt complex.
Others who fail to find in these innate experiences the satisfaction they had hoped, question whether the factor of frequency may not have something to do with their disappointment.
In general it may be said that where a couple secures a high degree of emotional satisfaction on most occasions, the question of frequency is of rather small importance. It is the quality of the experience rather than its frequency that is the largest factor in determining its value.
Needless to say, when making love, any sexual dysfunction needs to be addressed - and that includes delayed ejaculation or any other ejaculation problems such as premature ejaculation.
While it is possible to indulge too frequently, that danger is relatively small where both partners are considerate of one another and each gets a full measure of satisfaction out of such relationships.
Satisfied people do not overvalue sex. Being satisfied, they crave no outside sexual excitement. Having learned how to gain full satisfaction, they are safe to approach each other purely in response to their real desires.
They need not worry about how many times per month. If every episode of sexual relations satisfies them both, they are highly unlikely to overdo the business. If their meetings are unsatisfactory they are very likely to continue restlessly trying to gain satisfaction, to the loss of both health and peace of mind.
Those men and women who know how to share the experience from beginning to end, are usually free from the disturbances that create so much turbulence in human beings, and issue in a variety of actions unserviceable to themselves and to society.
For them, sex has its intense and significant meanings at appropriate seasons; for the rest, they move about their daily tasks free from its disabling distractions.
MOTIVES FOR INTERCOURSE
In practical life there are three motives for engaging in sexual intercourse in relationship: (a) the conception of a child, (b) the expression of mutual affection, and (c) the releasing of sexual tensions. Often, more than one of these motives is involved in a single instance of intercourse but each deserves a separate discussion.
The Conception of a Child
Biologically, the chief goal of sexual intercourse is the conception of offspring. This objective, and the various problems relating to it will be considered more fully in a subsequent chapter dealing with children. Here it is sufficient to say that for most married couples something more than biology is at stake.
The personal and the spiritual values associated with this intimate function of married living extend far beyond the mechanics of fertilization.
In the well-adjusted, happy relationship, most occasions of sexual intimacy will be motivated largely by a mutual desire to express through physical channels the love each feels for the other.
Just as one gladly accepts kisses from a loving partner, so one responds with a similar readiness to the caressing which leads to the full sexual embrace, provided the circumstances and the occasion be appropriate.
When the couple finds how to secure for both partners the satisfying release which should follow the orgasm, their bodily union comes to symbolize for them that spiritual fellowship which is lifeís greatest joy.
In view of this fact, sexual union should not be Allowed to degenerate into a casual indulgence to be undertaken anywhere, at any time, and disposed of III a hurried fashion.
Regard should be had for the proper setting and adequate preliminaries, and also, should be time for subsequent relaxation. If sexual union is to become and remain a high symbol of mutual affection, it should be reserved for times and circumstances that allow for completeness of ritual. Only so can the couple hope to derive the full benefit of this relationship.