Even in this enlightened era, many men worry about the size of their penis.
And even though most men have more than enough penis size to perform adequately as lovers, there is a widespread male belief that "more cock = more manhood".
www.The-penis.com receives a constant trickle of emails from men who believe their penis is "too small". It's these men who may fall prey to the scams of the penis enlargement merchants.
But there are no really effective ways of increasing penis size. Surgery may work, to some degree, but it has its dangers.
Women may find it baffling that men are so worried and concerned about the diameter and length of their penis.
We always seem to be wishing we had "just a couple of inches more". But that's the way it is......so what are the facts?
Penis Size Matters
To a man, the glorious penis is, albeit consciously or unconsciously, perhaps the most wonderful and important thing in his psyche, if not the whole world.
We start to play with our cocks at an early age, and by some accounts, we never stop until the day we die.
It's no wonder so many boys think they are small: what they see around them are the big penises of other men, including Dad's, big brother's, cousins, and so on....and when we see these in the changing room, the bathroom, wherever, we - as little boys - will always feel insecure and smaller....
That's how it goes on throughout our male existence: we always feel a bit insecure about how big we are, where we fit on the size scale, and above all, we're always convinced it would be better if it was bigger.
You could take a group of men and tell them until you're exhausted that penis size doesn't matter, but it won't make any difference whatsoever.
Remind them that women don't give a damn about penis size, and this won't change their opinions at all; and tell them that they can have great sex with a small cock, and they still won't believe you.
Why is that, exactly? Could it be because it's true?
Impossible! The average woman simply cannot understand this obsession with the size of our cocks. Its true that the smaller a penis is when it's soft the more it's likely to expand when it gets erect.
Sidebar: You can find more pictures which might help you get over your concerns about penis size here: Premature ejaculation
This is why any woman who happens to be reading this should never, ever, make any disparaging remark about a guy's penis, even as a joke.
Any sign you think he's too small will be taken seriously, and he may well be very offended and hurt.
Which brings us on to the question of what is normal, or average.
Well, by definition, there must be a man under average for every man over average.
So you're either below average size (50% of men) or above average (50% of men). Now, will knowing where you fit on the human penis size scale help you in any way?
Also, we should point out that every man thinks he is small compared to every other man.
It's something to do with perspective: you see your cock from above, and you look down on it, so that it seems shorter than the one on the guy next to you, which you're peeking a look at sideways.
And in case you're still wondering what women think about penis size - the answer is they don't like long cocks because it hurts when the penis hits their cervix during sex (the vagina being no more than six inches or so in length).
Women generally prefer thickness of girth to longer length, so that a short thin cock may well feel better than a thick long one.
Of course, if you have a short thin one, well, you'd better learn how to be a good lover (oral sex is always helpful here).
Average Penis Size - the Facts
As we all know, there is huge variation in penis size between men - but the average flaccid length is 3.9 inches.
Since you can shrink or expand - or, rather, your penis can - by as much as two inches due to heat or cold or fear, this isn't a very helpful standard by which to judge yourself.
I suppose getting a room of men naked together and comparing yourself with all of them would be the best way to get a feel for how you compare...or would it?
The answer, as you may have guessed, is "no", because erect penis size bears very little relationship to flaccid penis size.
However, the average size when erect is actually just under six inches, but even this is subject to variation caused by how aroused you are, how erect you are, and how much fat you have accumulated over your pubic bone.
Try pushing the fat back to expose more of your penile shaft and you'll soon see what I mean. And broadly speaking, there is no correlation between virility and penis size.
One case where this may not be true is in men with hypogonadism, where genetic or biochemical irregularities in the man's tissues mean he is unresponsive to testosterone.
I think it is also important to dismiss the routine reassurances casually issued by doctors, which do little to calm men who think they have a problem.
The reality is that if you think you have a small penis, and your life is affected by it, you have a problem worthy of sympathetic attention, whatever the actual size of your penis.
It's true that the variation in penis size is much less marked when men are erect than when they are flaccid.
And there are some extraordinary increases in size which go far beyond the generally accepted maximum 100% increase in size (e.g. from two inches to four, or three inches to six): some almost non-existent penises can expand to five inches or so on erection.
And if you see any quoting the average erect size as 6.5 inches, you can pretty quickly assume they have no idea what they are talking about: it's actually just under six inches.
Sex and Penis Size
The reality here is that there is no connection between sexual satisfaction and penis size - except in some ways that one might not expect.
For example, men think that women are very concerned about their cock size, probably because it is a symbol of male power for a man, and therefore the assumption is that it must also be so for a woman.
However, cock size is only important to women as far as physical sensation is concerned - and that depends on many factors, including the size of the man's penis and the size of the woman's vagina.
Too long a penis, and it will hit her cervix, unless she has a long vagina. Too thick, and it may stretch her uncomfortably.
And for a woman with a well-toned set of pelvic muscles, no penis will be too small to fill her vaginal barrel, unless it is in the region of micropenis size, and even then the woman may be more concerned with having her man inside her than the physical sensations this produces.
There are no simple correlations here, as is shown by this extract from some forums for women to discuss intimate sexual matters:
My husband is well endowed but very short (4 inches long), as he is very thick indeed, almost as big around as the size of my wrist....we have sex with me at the corner of the bed sitting with my feet flat on the floor, then he stands in front, raises my legs up in the air and pushes deep inside, he pushes with his legs and fills me so full.....I think it is because he just stretches me so wide, it is such a full feeling, and so completely wonderful.
Of course, finding the best sex positions for you and your partner will make sex even better. But this depends more on your physical anatomy and flexibility than anything else.
The exact angle of the vagina and penis must match to give a comfortable experience, although varying your orientation in a sexual position during intercourse can give you a different sensation, as another extract from the same forums shows:
For the very deepest penetration, I get on top of my partner with my back towards him (this is known as reverse cowgirl position). I lean towards his feet and hold onto his ankles or the lower part of his legs.
Then, I can control how fast we thrust, and how deep he enters me, and of course he can enjoy the show from behind. At the point where we're ready to cum I sit up straight and it feels like his penis goes right up and through me...it feels like heaven for us both.
We used to have a problem with his premature ejaculation, but we found an online treatment program which sorted everything out for us very quickly, and enabled him to control rapid climax so much so that we now have no problem in this respect whatsoever, and he is able to thrust for up to ten minutes before he feels the urge to ejaculate.
This has made sex even better, and has brought us much closer together as a couple, making sex the expression of our deep and loving feelings for each other.